
In a rage, Honeykiss uses Hatty Hattington as a weapon.
BattleBlock Theater[]
Cat Guards[]
While Honeykiss is eager to meet the Cats Guards at first, when he learns of their true intentions toward Mom and the crewmates, he becomes wary of them. As the Cat Guards keep the crewmates captured, Honeykiss tries to guide them out of BattleBlock Theater.
When Mom first comes across the Cat Guards, they are holding Hatty against his will and are forcing him to wear Furbottom's Hat. Honeykiss assumes that Hatty is making new friends, however, he soon realizes that they have evil intensions for him as the hat begins to glow. When Mom is captured by the guards, Honeykiss explains that Hatty has become the leader of the cats while under the hat's control. He implores Mom to overcome the hazardous theater and save their friends from the Cat Guards' captivity. Honeykiss takes note of the absence of humans in BattleBlock Theater, assuming that they took advantage of the S. S. Friendship's shipwreck to use the crew as slaves. He wonders what happened to the cats that caused them to live in the abandoned theater, and for how long they have lived there. As Mom's performances continue, Honeykiss reveals that the cats were pets owned by the original owner of the theater, Purrham Furbottom. Furbottom died during a performance, and for thousands of years, his hat has been passed onto a new leader. Honeykiss notes that the cats are turning irritable due to Hatty not taking care of the theater. The cats assume that Hatty is hording the money earned from the theater all for himself, starting a riot. Honeykiss warns Mom that they intend to kill Hatty and seek out a new leader, and will target Hatty's crewmates.
Hatty Hattington[]
Honeykiss tells Hatty Hattington's story as the unnamed narrator of BattleBlock Theater. He establishes that Hatty is outgoing and has made an abundance of friends as a result of his kindheartedness. Honeykiss also explains Hatty's caring nature, such as when he asks about the safety of his crew when they are caught in a storm, or when he defends a crewmember, Reginald, after he makes an obvious statement about the storm's danger. Because of Hatty's ability to make friends easily, Honeykiss assumes that the Cat Guards are amiable towards Hatty. When the hat the Cat Guards put on Hatty's head begins to glow, he realizes that they are hostile and advises Mom to hide, though they still get caught.
As Mom is lead around the prison, Honeykiss is confused by Hatty's betrayal. Knowing how Hatty cares about all his friends, Honeykiss recognizes that his actions are unusual, and that the malicious-looking hat he was forced to wear must be controlling him. As Mom's performance in BattleBlock Theater draws in a large crowd, Honeykiss notices that Hatty is observing the arena, appointed as the theater's leader, However, the hat has left him in a catatonic state. As Mom and the crewmates overcome the cats' challenges, the cats take notice of Hatty's inaction. As Hatty is not doing anything to help the cats, they plan to kill him and assign a new leader.
As Mom and the other crewmates traverse through the theater's traps, Honeykiss is annoyed at Hatty's refusal to help them. When the Cat Guards get angry over their lack of payment, Honeykiss finds that the gems that the crewmates have collected were hoarded in the Vault where Hatty is, and he sarcastically complements his actions. When the crewmates enter the Vault, Honeykiss calls out to Hatty to assure him that they are coming, then bluntly tells Hatty that he would prefer to meet up with them than have the crewmates come and rescue him.
When Mom finally reaches the Vault, Honeykiss congratulates them for overcoming the theater's danger and rescuing Hatty. As they try to lead Hatty out of the Vault, however, his body slouches to the ground. At first, Honeykiss thinks that Hatty is not taking the rescue seriously, but then expresses concern as Hatty does not move or react. During the escape from the island, he observes that Hatty has not responded to his friends, and solemnly questions the fate of Hatty. While singing a song about the relationship between Hatty and his crewmates, he emphasizes their loyalty to one another despite their failure to rescue Hatty. Afterward, Honeykiss begins to sing Buckle Your Pants as Hatty's body is thrown off the ship.
When Hatty body sinks to the bottom of the ocean, Purrham's Hat floats onto his head. Upon seeing the laser emerge, Honeykiss cries out "No!" repeatedly as it enters outer space and vaporizes a Space Bear. As the scene ends, Honeykiss comments that he now understands the context behind the scene, but does not explain.
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "Good evening boys and girls, ladies, MMMH and gentleman. Turn the lights down low and shut your faces as I wrap you in the cozy blanket of a story. A story as heartwarming and soft as a mother's kiss. Or is it? Shhhh. Once upon a time, there was a boat! Now this wasn't just any boat children, it was a ship! A ship full of friends, HUNDREDS of friends. best friends one-and-all! A veritable friend-ship, it was! Get it? But it wouldn't be very ladylike of me if I didn't mention the most noteworthy friend on board: Hatty Hattington. Say hi to Hatty! Hatty was like... King Friend of Friendship Kingdom, best friend to one and all, and the walking definition of 'handsome gentleman'! Now one fine morning Hatty and pals set out for a new, exciting adventure! What fantastic wonders would they discover this time? Perhaps they'd come across a scary ghost ship! Perhaps they'd find an island, made entirely of candy! Perhaps they'd meet a band of scary, swashbuckling pirates... and join forces to find an island made entirely of candy! Who knew? But it didn't matter - so long as they were together, there were smiles to be had and adventures to be shared! Now today was a day like any other adventurey day spirits were uncrushably high, everyone was singing and dancing and having a jolly time! When suddenly the ocean was all like "SURPRISE!" and a huge, massive storm brewed out of nowhere! WHSHOOOOO-WHSHOO-WHOOSHOOSHMBLHM ...boy, that was quick! WHJOOSHOOJHEH And there was thunder. BOOM! And the lightning, BOOM! And the wind, BOOMmmSHOOSHOOSHUSHsh - and like that, it was over. "Is everyone okay?" Said Hatty, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost even ONE of you!" Hatty... continued. But the eye of the storm is VERY misleading, children. NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON IT because the ocean was all like "PSYCHE!" and it came back, even bigger this time, twice as big! WSHOOOSHOOOSHOO As if Poseidon himself, extended his hand in friendship, and they spat in his mouth! WHOOO-SHULOOSGRBRBRBRSHAJAJU-SHJU BOY he was pis.. he was mad! SHOO-WESHOOMEHSHU And the rain came down like a shower of bullets AH...AHHH! And the floorboards were buckling and creaking and breaking and pieces of the ship were raining down like shards of broken dreams. And then Reginald comes upstairs and he's all like "I say gentlemen, I do believe we're in quite a spot of bother!" And everyone else was like "REALLY? WHAT TIPPED YOU OFF, GENIUS?" And then Hatty was all like "HEEEY, BE NICE!" WHSHOOO-SHOOshSHOOSH HUGE, GIANT WAVES thrashed the boat to-and-fro, fro-and-to, carelessly sprinkling friend after friend into the cold, unforgiving abyss of the deep, dark ocean EVERYONE was screaming like "HELP ME!" SPLASH, SPLASH! And there was this huge whale like MWAAAHHHH and made it super scary, and I think there was a shark! WSHOO Yep there he is, OH GOD! WHCHOO-SHUDLESHUMBLEDED And then Hatty was all like "Hold on to your butts, LAND HO!" and BANG! BANG BANG, SMASH! A shipwreck! As foretold by their fate-books of... fate! And while it seems like the end... this is merely the beginning of another fantastic journey for the brave crew of the S.S. Friend...ship!" | Opening cutscene dialogue |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "What a strange, mysterious island! And what's this? The shore is riddled with little friend-sized footprints! I guess the tide brought them to land! How utterly convenient! But where have they gotten to? Who knows? I don't. Do you? I don't. Do you? I don't. Do.. WELCOME, TO BATTLEBLOCK THEATER GO INSIDE! th... THE DOOR! When you're... ANYTIME." | Introduction cutscene dialogue, when Mom awakens from the shipwreck. |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "Hmmm... maybe our friends came in here, to take shelter from the rain! That's smart. But jeez, what a gloomy place! Ever heard of spring cleaning?" | Introduction cutscene dialogue, when Mom enters BattleBlock Theater |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "Oh, happy day, it's Hatty! And look, he's made some wonderful new friends! Oooh, and they got him a present! How thoughtful! Hey wait a second, I don't think that was a present...AHHH! Those guys aren't wonderful new friends, are they! Just... stay hidden and keep quiet! They haven't seen you yet! ...OH NO, they see you! Clench your butt, this isn't gonna be good! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH... ...YEP, that wasn't good. That wasn't good at all..." | Introduction cutscene dialogue, when Mom encounters Hatty and the Cat Guards. |
Mom[]
Mom is the protagonist of BattleBlock Theater and is guided by Honeykiss in their journey to rescue Hatty. Honeykiss constantly praises Mom for the bravery and selflessness as they try to rescue their friends.
After the S.S. Friendship crashed onto BattleBlock Theater, Mom is advised by Honeykiss to follow the footprints leading into the theater. As they enter, Mom discovers Hatty being held captive by two Cat Guards. Honeykiss initially believes that Hatty is making new friends. However, when the cats place a glowing hat on Hatty's head, he becomes possessed. Honeykiss tries to warn Mom about their nefarious intentions, but they are captured by the Cat Guards.
While Honeykiss is aware of the bleak circumstance Mom is in, he urges them to rescue their friends and escape the theater. The Cat Guards force Mom to perform in dangerous theater performances. Despite the theater's challenges, Honeykiss commends Mom for their willingness to withstand the danger and save their friends. Mom's participation in BattleBlock Theater draws a large crowd, allowing the cats to implement more dangerous traps because of the crowd's patronage. Honeykiss draws Mom's attention to the cats, wondering about their origins, and warning to Mom to be cautious around them.
He reveals that the cats were pets owned by Purrham Furbottom, the owner of BattleBlock Theater. After Furbottom's death, his hat has been passed down to a new leader for generations, who is expected to take care of the theater and its cats. It's rumored that the hat is possessed by the spirits of its past owners, which caused Hatty to fall into a catatonic state. Due to this, he is unable to take care of the cats. Without proper leadership, the cats are planning to turn on Hatty and kill him. He warns Mom about the cats now that they are determined to murder Hatty, and must enter the vault where he is being held as quickly as possible. Mom enters the Vault where Hatty is held and is congratulated by Honeykiss. He is eager for the group to leave the island, but notices that Hatty does not move. Noticing that something has happened to Hatty, he tells Mom to carry him to the ship. Hatty and his crew leave the island, but Honeykiss notices that Hatty is still unresponsive. Somber about Hatty's fate, Honeykiss sings a song about the crewmates losing Hatty after overcoming the perils of BattleBlock Theater. Although the moment is somber, Mom and the other crewmates participate in the dance party as Honeykiss sings Buckle Your Pants, causing Hatty to fall overboard.
As the narrator of the game, Honeykiss encourages Mom to persist and face against the Cat Guards' trials. He guides Mom around the theater, giving them information on why Hatty has turned against them, the origins of BattleBlock Theater, and what the cats plan to do to Hatty when he cannot maintain order. While Honeykiss sympathizes with Mom and says he admires their determination, he occasionally he acts rude or callous towards them. After telling them the origins of the Cat Guards, and pointing out how irritable they've gotten over time, Honeykiss advises Mom not to complain. Upon discovering that the cats are planning to kill Hatty, he casually instructs Mom that they should overcome their deadly trials to save Hatty without complaints. Several times, he disregards Mom's safety and describes the deadly hazards of the theater nonchalantly.
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "You sure know how to make the best of a confusing and hopeless situation! But boy, this place is QUITE the enigma, wouldn't you say? And you know, a little warning would have been nice. You know, before they threw us head first into this gladiatorial, prisony place. With its, perilous melody of twisted productions that shred the silky fabric which weaves together the fragile blanket of sanity that keeps us sane. But you know, whatever. Either way, it's safe to say we're in QUITE a pickle jar here! We gotta rescue our friends and get back to Mr. Boat! I mean they'd do the same for you, and adventuring wouldn't be the same without... I dunno, THIS guy! Best chef in ALL the land, food so stupid delicious one taste would blow your face through the back of your head! Like BANG, SPLAT! And who could forget this quirky fellow? Ya know, he owns a bat farm back home, and his lifelong dream is to breed a terrifying race of SUPER-BATS! None of which makes any sense of course, because he's absolutely terrified of bats. And this lovely lass always tells the BEST bedtime stories, HANDS DOWN! Plus she always smells like chocolate! So that's good! And then there's this guy and... this handsome fellow and... that... thing... dheshu ALL your best friends, imprisoned! And they don't like it very much because it's BAD and HORRIBLE! And then there's Hatty... the best friend of all! Why did he stab us in the back and twist the blade? I mean just this morning he gave everybody flowers and presents and now he goes out of his way to hurt our feelings? Oh, I think not - you can't fool me! Hatty would NEVER betrayal us... b-betray us NEVER! Something fishy's going on here and I THINK I DON'T LIKE IT RIGHT NOW AT ALL. It MUST have something to do with that scary, albeit fashionable hat! Sure looks evil... I mean it's glowing red and stuff! Glowy red stuff is always bad, everybody knows that! So what dangerous treats lie in store as we continue to unravel this treacherous sweater? I don't know. But use caution as you continue your gallant endeavor! Don't, don't like... fail and... die and stuff CAUSE ITS ALL UP TO YOU NOW! Wh...why'd it, why'd it do that? That was... that was scary..." | Chapter 1 dialogue |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "Way to bite the bullet so far! You don't even complain about the prison food! Which is shocking, because that stuff tastes like doo-doo casserole! With a side of butt-salad! But best of all your riveting performances have the theater bursting at the seams with excited patrons! And with all this extra cash you're raking in, the theater can afford some serious improvements and really start beefing up these horrifying shows of murdery death to appease the fickle crowd! S-so, that's...good? And what's the deal with Hatty? He just creepily looms around the theater all day... LOOK at him LOOMING! It seems like he's been forcefully forced to manage this place! Well it...LOOKS that way. He just sorta' sits there. Just as productive as one can be. Yyyep, living life to the fullest! WOAH, SLOW DOWN BUDDY! YES SIR, fulla' salt and pep'! FULL OF PEE 'N VINEGAR! OVERFLOWING WITH YOUTHFUL ENERGY SAY SOMETHING HATTY OWEALAWOLEAUH! CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE? ...shut up. Ya know people really seem to be a precious and rare commodity in this strange part of the world. Seems our little boat wreck was a delicious gift from the heaven...gods, and these bizarre cats are taking full advantage of us! What cruel fate left them to roam the grounds of this scary old theater, desperately ruling these bleak premises with an iron fff...paw? And just how long have they been orchestrating this sinister scheme? I mean...avert your eyes, children... AVERT THEM! There's boney people skeletons, everywhere! Scary, right? Now I'm no genius, but I DEFINITELY know how long it takes for a body to decompose, so this musta been going on for at LEAST ... w, wait...scratch that...thing I said... UCHKMMM So do you possess the courage to soldier onward and uncover the mysterious mystery behind this grim world? Or will your hilarious death screams be drowned out by the sound of your own hilarious death screams?! We shall see! We shall see, we shall see, ... 'ya see?" | Chapter 2 dialogue |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "You've really got the crowd eating from your delicate hands now! There's never a dull moment with you at the helm! Sept for maybe like twice... but I gotta hand it to you, you've got quite the unbreakable spirit! I mean I'm not nearly as brave as you. If I was in your capably nimble shoes, I'd say "to heck with Hatty and my friends, they'll be fine!" And then I'd pack myself a nice bag lunch, show these cats my faaavorite finger, and then I'd make like horse turds and hit the trail! But I'm not you! And you're not horse turds - no sirs. YOU, are the very definition of the cat's PJs! And speaking of which, these cats are truly bizarre! Why are they here? I mean I've got my theories... Perhaps they're aliens, from another world! Maybe they're genetic experiments, GONE AWRY! Or could it be that they were once normal kitties? NORMAL kitties who evolved into the strange, unpleasant creatures we see before us? These... hideously adorable abominations with their... beady eyeballs, GIANT, BLOODTHIRSTY... tiny mouthfangs, slashy pawclaws, and stanky-funk breath! Plus they're awfully rude and crabby! I think they all need girlfriends or something! I'm a cat, seee? I'm grouchy, see?! I like to run around and hurt people's feelings, seeeee?! But don't take them lightly.. although sassy and lazy by nature, cats are awfully crafty and finding a weak spot in that bright orange, furry armor might prove difficulty! M...uh minus the "Y" THEY'RE ALWAYS watching, children... I see them lurking in the shadows... LURKING HARD! Or hardly lurking, seeeee? On that note, this whole THEATER'S like a bad joke! But how did things get so bad? At one time this theater was a nice place with flowers in every vase and smiles on everyone's mouth... faces. Can you believe it? I wouldn't believe it! I mean if YOU told me that, I'd more than likely call you a liar and walk away! And um... find some place to get ice cream to replenish the innocence you blackened with your filthy deceits! I like strawberry... JUST KEEP YOUR WITS ABOUT YOU as you descend further into the belly of the beast... and perhaps you'll find a way to put an end to this madness!" | Chapter 3 dialogue |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "Take my dainty hand as I whisk you back to a time long forgotten! LONG before the sh... the, the POOP hit the fan... here. The year was 17...0...50...9-ish, whatever. Self made billionaire, cat-fanatic, and theatrics aficionado Purrham Furbottom set out to create the BIGGEST, RITZIEST, most THRILL-INDUCINGIST theater ever! And he did! And it was THE talk of THE town! Trust me, if you weren't there, you were must assuredly square! People were seriously like: "What, you weren't there? What are you, a NERD?" Opening night was a thing to behold, as Lord Furbottom organized the GRANDEST, JAW-DROPPINGEST show ever seen! There was explosions and dancing girls! Dancing girls who exploded! Exotic animals! Exotic animals who exploded! Incredible feats of magic and wonder with fantastic production values all around. Furbottom sat for days on end marveling at his breathtaking creation and packing handfuls of delicious, buttery popcorn into his mouth. But alas, his illogical contempt for intermissions ultimately caused his demise, and during the show, Furbottom passed away - having pooped himself to death on the way to the bathroom. Legend says that he clenched his butt as hard as he could, but his little checks just gave out, Furbottom left nothing behind but his beloved theater, his precious kitties, his hat... and of course, his bloated corpse - which was lovingly drifted out to sea, and immediately ravaged by sharks. And that, children - is the legend of Purrham Furbottom! A respectable, and apparently delicious, ahhh-gentleman. But the show must go on, right? Right! For thousands of years Purrham's hat passed from head to head, leader to leader - and the theater still operates to this very day! And what a piece of crap it's become! I bet Purrham is rolling over in his sharks right now. I mean everything's poorly run and the whole place stinks like pee and feet... and with everyone involved walking a fine line between moodiness and full blown insanity, it's only a matter of time before something truly horrifying happens! But try to keep a sunny disposition as you sink further into darkness, yeah? Nobody likes a crybaby." | Chapter 4 dialogue |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "Purrham's hat sure is a mystery. It vexes me so, it truly does! But where did it come from? Well children - some say that the hat was blessed by a voodoo witch doctor. And then cursed by another voodoo witch doctor like, 20 minutes later! Other claim that Purrham was adventuring through the treacherous Caves of the Nightmare Princess, when he found that hat perched atop a GIANT RUBY! A ruby that naturally formed into the shape of a skull! A HUMAN SKULL! AHHH! But you know what I think, children? I think the hat is haunted by all the souls of it's previous owners, ALL their dreams and failures mashed together in a frantic, poisonous scramble of grumpiness and conflicting viewpoints! But I'm the dumb one, right? I mean you got these voodoo... nightmare princess thingies, easily the biggest crocks of sh... STUFF I've ever heard in my entire life, but I'm the dumb one. That's fine! And not just anyone can don the hat, you know - it calls out only to those who embody exemplary qualities required! Charity, bravery, handsomeness, gentle-maninty, inoffensive smell, etc... and of course, proper head size. Guess that explains why cats can't wear it. Plus, who ever heard of a cat in a hat, that's preposterous AND HEAVY WEIGHS THE CROWN... he who wears the hat, calls the shots - and in a time long forgotten, maintained balance, and ensured that everyone was plump and happy and wanted for nothing! But all good things come to and end, children. Well, that's not entirely true I... I figure pizza will always exist. But this hat? Let's just say it's days of benevolent guidance are LOOONG over with... you might as well flip it over and use it as a toilet! I mean Hatty hasn't lifted a FINGER to spread the wealth or encourage smiles, and the theater staff is really starting to feel underappreciated. OH - OH LOOK! The smoldering unrest has given birth to a precious little storm cloud! Awww, lookit' his little raindrops. And if things don't change around here, this LITTLE cloud's gonna grow up into a big, giant, SCARY cloud and spray us all with a drenching downpour of horrifying madness! But don't lose sight of your mission... Hatty needs you more than ever now! And I know things look bleak, but even the word hopeless has hope in it! Plus, if you rearrange the letters, it spells PEE SLOSH! That last part was probably unnecessary. I'm sorry." | Chapter 5 dialogue |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "Now it goes without saying, but cats REALLY don't like to be ignored - and my oh my, the staff is really upset now. The lack of proper leadership has really twisted their fanny-cheeks! HARD! Where's the appreciation? Where's the sparkly moneys at?" [A puppet of Hatty surrounded by green gems appears] "Oh yeah. Good one "bro". And as you continue to conjure magic to distract the masses, your efforts seem in vain - as your constant struggle to save Hatty and your friends has only created grander spectacles, with harder obstacles to overcome! How's THAT for a double-edged sword? Sharp, right?! And the audience loves it. The applause is deafening. The sandpapery kisses are plentiful and tickly, and they always want more. MORE! BIGGER! HARDER! THAT'S WHAT SHE S... I mean, uh... THIS place is turning into quite the impressive palace of horror now! I mean you're gonna be up to your THROAT in CATS and... LASERS like... BYEW, BYEW BYEW, BYEW ...and SPIKEY things like... SHING shSHING-SHING SHING ...and BOMBS and EXPLOSIONS like... BANG buhBANG-BANG-BANG SO I'd stay on my toes if I were you BANG 'cause it's gonna be a massacre! A FUNHOUSE of death, except TWICE...no, THREE times as deadly! And to ice this little predicament-cake of yours, the staff is SICK of Hatt's bullsh... B-uh...NONSENSE! They're SICK of him! LOOK how upset they are! GAZE IN HORROR at the DISORDERLY DISORDER! MYEAWWWW, MYEAAA, SEEE? Aren't you scared? YOU SHOULD BE! BANG, CRASH...CRASH-BANG! MYEAAAH kinda... hard to do it justice with these... little thingies, but trust me it's TERRIBLE! Everyone's naked and rioting and POOPING on the floor PBBBTBTBT and clawing the expensive curtains (come on guys, they're expensive) EVERYTHING'S going up in a horrifying blaze of CHAOS! ...plus the picnic was canceled and I've, kinda got a little headache coming on and... it just NEVER ENDS! But go forth and give it your all! I won't believe you've fought and died for nothing. And perhaps, when it's all over... I'll meet you in the afterlife whilst' perusing the hall of heroes, WHERE THE BRAVE LIVE FOREVER! ...THERE'S ALSO A HALL of losers and failures, you don't want to end up there. Trust me, it's embarrassing!" | Chapter 6 dialogue |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "I admire your tenacity, truly I do fo' sho'! But things have really gotten out of control here... you've all quickly gone from precocious, loveable scamps to problematic liabilities! How ridiculous! Are we truly the only sane people on this twisted island? Or... perhaps WE'RE the crazy ones... and THEY'RE all sane? What a twist that would be! ...no, that's impossible, these guys are bat-poop crazy! We gotta get to Hatty A-S-A-P... as soon as PYURRRM, like a bullet! Mega, SUPERY fast! Buy you gotta get through that vault and get that key, first - and this particular vault is more dangerous than telling a GIRL she's CHUBBY!" | Chapter 7 dialogue | |
Crewmate | "OH MY GOD!" | ||
Honeykiss | "I know, right? It's a poop-inducing nightmare in there! You're gonna be killed until you're dead! But...ya know. Put your big girl panties on. Everybody has problems. And not to add ANOTHER ingrediant to your rich, chunky stew of personal problems - but the staff's out for blood now - and they mean business! Their spirits have grown faaar too weary, children and a weary spirit requires sustenance! Rich, buttery sustenance! Sustenance only sustened' by killing Hatty and starting this insanity all over again, with a new person! What a counter-productively FUTILE charade this is! When will they shatter their shackles of ignorance to transcend the bane of their self-afflicted miser.. WHEN WILL THEY STOP BEING STUPID, CRAZY DUMB JERKS?! EVERYONE'S KIND OF SICK OF IT. But I guess there's no reasoning with madness. Or cats, for that matter! Seriously, try talking sense into a cat - they just stare at you with their lifeless, patronizing eyeballs for like...a couple of seconds, and then they just walk away! And then you're like... D-don't turn your back on me! And they're like MYEAAAH! And then you're all like, tch-MMMBshuh, and then they're all like MYEAAAAAH! But it is what it is. I guess. So are you ready for the most importantly-important mission of your ENTIRE LIFE? I hope so! It's time to show these guys they picked the WROOOONG boat of friends to tangle with! Just hold on a little longer, homie - WE'RE COMING FOR YOU! It'd be nice if you could... meet us halfway but...you know, whatever. MYEAAAAAH" |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "You made it! I salute you, I truly do! Now lets grab Hatty and blow this pop-stand! Hey Hatty, stop messing around, buddy...everyone's waiting for us! Something's very wrong here... Well...if you can't carry yourself, then we'll carry you...for you! | Dialogue said upon completing Chapter 8. |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "And so, we've finally made it back to the boat, after a harrowing, exhausting adventure! I bet your dogs are barkin'! I mean lets face it - most of that ordeal was unpleasant to the point of sucking a whole lot! But now it's time to relax in the forbidden moonlight of yesterday's promises! ...Whatever that means, and treat ourselves to a nice big mug of hot cocoa! Whaddya' say, Hatty? But Hatty wasn't his normal, jovial self anymore, children. He didn't say a word. He didn't even respond to hugs! Freakin' hugs! He loves hugs! But he wasn't moving. He wasn't even blinking. Where has he gone to? Where?" | Ending dialogue |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss |
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Ending song lyrics |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "SO your best friend's a vegetable now, blah blah blah. But you know what they say... when life gives ya' potatoes, you make potato salad - and I got JUST the recipe! HIT IT!" | Ending dialogue |
Character | Dialogue | Notes | |
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Honeykiss | "No, no... no... no... no, no... No! No! No, no! NO! NO, NO! ...Oh, I get it! Because of the... yes, it all makes sense now!" | Final line of dialogue in BattleBlock Theater's ending. |
Other Crewmates[]
As Mom travels endures the challenges in BattleBlock Theater, Honeykiss reminds them of their other friends that were captured. As he knows all of Hatty's crewmates have strong bonds of friendship, he rallies Mom to overcome the challenges created by the Cat Guards and to rescue their friends. Honeykiss is familiar with three other crewmates: He knows that Gordon is a skilled chef, that Bat Scientist plans to breed a race of super-bats, and that Cleo is a caring person that likes to tell bedtime stories.
Purrham Furbottom[]
Honeykiss relays information about Purrham Furbottom to Mom in their journey in BattleBlock Theater. He explains that Purrham was a billionaire who desired to create the grandest theater in history. The performances in his theater were met with rave reviews. In spite of Honeykiss' high opinion of Purrham, he does not understand the hatred Purrham has for intermissions, and remarks that the lack of breaks between performances contributed to his death.
Honeykiss wonders about the origins of Furbottom's hat, and discusses different theories with Mom. He personally believes the hat is haunted by the souls of previous owners. He also informs Mom that the hat can only be worn by those who have the personality traits it desires. While the cats have chose Hatty as their leader, the hat has left him in a comatose state, leading him to be unable to take care of the cats. Because of this, the cats plan to kill Hatty and find a new leader.
Pit People[]
Hatty Hattington[]
In the events of Pit People, Honeykiss is revealed to be the narrator from Battleblock Theater. Honeykiss hates Hatty, in contrast to his determination to assist Mom in rescuing him in Battleblock Theater. It is revealed that the Space Bear killed by the laser shot from Hatty's body was his best friend, Honeyhug. Devastated by Honeyhug's death, he plans on destroying the human race.
After Horatio rescues his son from Honeykiss, Honeykiss denounces Horatio and his allies for seeing themselves as heroes for saving humanity. Honeykiss declares that he has never killed anyone, his best friend was killed by a human. Remembering Honeyhug's death, Honeykiss is enraged and grabs Hatty from the bottom of the ocean. Using another laser fired by Hatty's body, Honeykiss destroys other planets and kills Horatio's comrades. As Honeykiss comes to his senses, regretting his actions, he returns Hansel to Horatio before disappearing into outer space. The two are then approached by the Speckled Horse, who has the power to grant wishes. In order to prevent the deaths of thousands of people, Horatio wishes to undo Honeykiss' rampage against Earth.